Blog
SCENES OF ORDINARY MADNESS
date: 22 February 2012 at 08:57:24 - 0 comments
Carnival is here and life’s a joke – witness “La 7” tv news last night.
Scene 1 – Enrico Mentano, the most ‘intellectual’ of Italian tv news presenters, opens the eight pm ‘show’ live with a chubby female comedienne named Geppi Cucciari. “I really wanted to congratulate you on your amazing performance at the San Remo music festival on Saturday night, Geppi…”
Two Italian soldiers have been arrested for murdering pirates in India, the Greek bail-out is going through, and Enrico Mentana is lauding the girl for having bravely taken off her shoes, ironically pointing out the (self-evident) fact that some of the female stars in the seedy pop music festival were wearing see-thru clothes which revealed that they had forgotten to put on their panties.
What was Geppi doing there, you might wonder.
Mentana closes the chat by getting her surname wrong.
The fact is that they both work for the same tv company, and this is blatant publicity…
Scene 2 – a Partito Democratico (ex-Communist party) spokesman suggests that non-elected prime minister, Mario Monti, would make a marvellous PD leader and prime minister. “But Mario Monti’s more right wing than Berlusconi,” someone objects.
“Well, a sort of Monti party without Mario Monti,” the reply comes back…
Scene 3 – Luigi Lusi, the treasurer of the defunct Margherita party, was accused two weeks ago of stealing €13 million from the party coffers. Just last week, he offered to repay €5 million of the total and everyone in the Margherita party (which no longer exists) seemed to be happy to lose only €8 million.
Today, it turns out that Lusi may have stolen an additional €20 million…
So, where did the €33 million go, and why was everyone so happy to see it lost? Could it be that Lusi and his mates in the defunct Margherita split €33 million in cash (government refunds for ‘election expenses’) between themselves?
Ah, what will tomorrow bring?
IT’S ALL GREEK TO MY MOTHER-IN-LAW, TOO
date: 19 February 2012 at 09:43:47 - 0 comments
Mario Monti has decided to thrust Italy into the twenty-first century.
It’s a great idea in principle, but great ideas don’t always work out in practice.
As an instance, Daniela went to the bank yesterday to draw out her mother’s pension. She does it regularly, and for two very good reasons. Firstly, she is a splendid daughter. Secondly, her mother is no longer mobile. Age, thrombosis and osteoporosis have taken their toll, and mum no longer walks to the bathroom, let alone the bank!
So, Daniela stands at the counter and asks for the cash.
“Has the lady got a credit card?” the cashier asks.
“Of course, she hasn’t. She’s 87…”
“She’ll have to get one.”
And why is that? Because the Monti government in its attempt to control and monitor the flow of unregistered cash, has imposed a one thousand euro limit on cash withdrawals from banks.
“Without a credit card, you’ll have to take one thousand now in cash, then come back tomorrow or next week to withdraw the remainder.”
The remainder amounts to less than one hundred euros, but so what. You have to come back. That is, two trips to the bank instead of one. It’s bad enough for people who can walk. It’s out of the question for people who can’t.
It’s also hard on kind sons and loving daughters…
As Daniela retreats with her mum’s €1000, the cashier hands her a leaflet. “We’re making special arrangement for pensioners who need a credit card,” she says. The ‘special arrangement’ costs €12 per quarter, which is almost €50 per year. And take that out of your pension!
Imagine all the ladies and gents of advanced age and reduced mobility in Italy. How many people are we talking about? A million? Two million? More? That’s at least €50 millions’ worth of extra revenue for banks, thanks to the bankers’ premier, a.k.a. Professor Mario Monti…
Imagine all the aged and invalid ladies and gents in Italy who don’t have a son or a daughter who is willing and able to go the bank on their behalf, who don’t have a bank account. How are they going to pick up their pensions? How are they going to obtain a credit card?
Through a neighbour, perhaps, though it is more likely to be the Ukrainian or Polish woman who looks after them, and is paid for doing so. At this point, the minder or neighbour is no longer just a minder or a neighbour. They use the credit card, know the password, and have direct access to the account of the person who is their employer or guardian angel…
You see where I am going with this?
Monti slaps a restriction on the free-flow of cash. Clearly his aim is not to injure the elderly, but to monitor the cash and credit movements of the hordes of people who fake their tax returns, or make no tax declaration at all. But it is the elderly who cop the weight of the draconian measure, while the sly and the deceitful will just stop using cheques and credit cards and banks, and start using very large suitcases to move around their ill-gotten gains.
Daniela is a saint, she really is.
She spent an hour trying to explain to her mum what a credit card is.
Then she gave up and resigned herself to going to the bank twice, instead of once.
IT’S ALL GREEK TO MRS MERKEL
date: 17 February 2012 at 12:05:24 - 0 comments
Yesterday, I listened to a remarkable speech on Sky tv.
Mario Monti was addressing the European parliament.
It was a bit like watching Roger Federer play tennis. In a thoughtful, elegant, purposely understated manner, the (unfortunately non-elected) Italian prime minister, Mario Monti, whacked in three aces and delivered a pair of backhand volleys which could not have been more timely.
In the first place, he reminded the European Union that its mandate is European, and not national. That is, if Europe exists (and if it wishes to continue to exist), then unity and mutual assistance should predominate over purely national interests. It was a stern reminder to the leaders of France and Germany that their duties are not exclusively measured in terms of their capacity to protect the interests of their own nationalities, nor of their personal desire to appear triumphant in a world which is torn by economic crisis.
That was the first ace. Bravo, Mario!
Ace number two was a subtle reminder to our European partners that they will not be playing Euro-doubles with a seasoned tennis-player, such as Mario Monti, for very long. Indeed, the ball drifted towards the base-line, calling into play the possibility of widening antipathy between the few large nations which are able to meet the stringent financial requirements of the Community, and smaller ones which are less equipped to handle the demanding requirements of European reform. Each nation will decide, Monti suggested. Its leaders and its people.
Then came a vicious backhand slice. Monti hinted at the radical extremism and possible violence which tough umpiring will inevitably produce. If you force your opponent into a corner, he will fight to get out it.
In the case of Greece, indeed, one wonder exactly what our European overseers have been doing for the last ten years as the country slipped deeper and deeper into debt, and evidence that it had cooked the books regarding its true financial position when it applied for membership began to emerge ever more solidly. Less than six months ago (!!!), Professor Monti himself (in his role as European Commissioner) was lauding Greece as a perfect example of European unity, a model based on Community help and mutual understanding. I saw the interview again on television last night. It was, more or less, like stepping in a dollop of dog-dirt, and poor old Mario must be embarrassed today…
So, what has happened in six months to upset the apple-cart?
Basically, it all boils down to Germany and Mrs Merkel.
The Germans (and the toadying French) refuse to endorse a bail-out loan to Greece, unless the present Greek government signs a commitment to full repayment in the name of a Greek parliament which has still to be elected and would certainly oppose, and possibly refute, the obligation.
Is this democratic, Mrs M? It certainly isn’t.
In fact, it sums up the crisis of Europe at the moment. The world economy has little time for democracy, it wants result now, today. In the case of Greece, it may lead to a confrontation with Germany which will rock, and even wreck European unity. If Greece drops out, refuses to honour debts already incurred, and returns to a simpler economy based on national resources alone – fruit and veg, feta cheese, goats and fish, and attractive cheap tourism aimed specifically at sympathisers of a less-globalised world – it could be the first of many withdrawals from the tough approach to balancing budgets which Mrs Merkel champions as the only European model.
Which would you choose, 60 hours of hard labour in a factory in Duisburg, or a shepherd’s life on the island of… well, there are just so many of them to choose from.
When Roger Federer (Swiss, therefore neutral) has had enough of smashing balls around a tennis court, I wonder where he’d go on holiday – Duisburg or Crete?
I have never been a homogenised ‘European’ – I love national differences, national food and drink, the lira and the drachma. I even enjoyed queuing up at the customs (pre-Schengen) and having my UK passport stamped. Evidently, the Mrs Merkels of this world just don’t understand the infinite variety of choices – and the pleasures of variety – which are open to us.
Greece will go down fighting, and it may come up again looking better than ever.
At the same time, it may well spell the end of Angela Merkel’s political career…
HURRAI, HURRAI!
date: 12 February 2012 at 10:03:33 - 0 comments
There’s nothing gets your goat like taxes.
You work, you earn, and if you’re honest you pay your taxes.You should pay taxes, of course. They help to provide all of the public, social and welfare services which make up the modern democratic state. Still, it has to be said, some taxes really do get your goat. Take the tax on national television…
PROSIT! I’LL DRINK TO THAT!
date: 11 February 2012 at 09:31:28 - 0 comments
Have you ever been to a bring-a-bottle party?
Everyone has, of course.
And doesn’t it bring out the worst in people?
Some folks bring a bottle of beer, others a bottle of wine. It’s rare that anyone arrives with a bottle of hooch or bubbly, and when they do, they keep it to themselves.
It’s human nature, you might say.